Formerly the former.

“Seriously, man, is there anything I can do for you. Anything at all, anything,” I pleaded.

“I don’t know. Nothing really.”

“Yes, there is. There definitely is. Let’s go for a walk. Right now. C’mon. I’ll take you up to the mountains; you love hiking, don’t you? We’ve gone before.”

He shook his head slightly, indicating he wasn’t in the mood for any of that. Ah, crap. “No, we’re going now,” I stated, with a slight imperiousness in my voice. “Come on. Just stand up.”

His head finally turned to face me again, his features actually slightly surprised this time. For once, some emotion. I imagined I could press the idea further. “Even just for half an hour. It’s cold, so I promise it won’t be long.”

“No, I just… don’t really know…” he trailed off into his thoughts. Shit, I was losing him again. I stood up very suddenly, having fuzzy bolts of lightning shoot up my legs. I ignored the dull thorns, walking over to his inert figure. 

Frustration assaulted my patience. “You are not going to be fucking sitting here. Just come with me for a bit. Then I’ll take you wherever you want to go after that.” The forceful anger in my voice surprised even me.

“Well, if you put it like that… Okay. Fine. But I’m only doing this because it’s you.”

“…Thank you.”

I gathered up our things from the smooth concrete floor and slowly walked next to him to the car. He seemed in a daze—but then again, he always seemed to be that way these days. Tossing the objects through the backseat window, I quickly gave a sideways glance to my friend. He seemed alright so far.

The driver’s door and passenger door opened simultaneously, but I waited for him to get in first. I didn’t move until his ass made contact with the seat.

I closed the door and sat there for a few seconds before starting the car. The 8 cylinder engine roared and then settled into a steady, content rumble. 

“You alright, man?”

“Yeah. I’m fine.”

“I suppose I’m just tired.”

“Yeah. Maybe. You should take it easy,” I hazarded.

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Right.” Inwardly sighing, I brought my coat closer to myself. The night was cold, colder than I could remember it being around here. But still. I had to stay. He maintained his distant stare.

For the first time, I noticed a vacant look in his eyes. 

He turned away and continued looking at whatever invisible object he had been fixated on earlier. I didn’t know what to say.

“Look. Nothing that you say or do will change anything.

Nothing changes.”

“Stop it, dammit. I don’t know what you’re talking about and it worries me. No. Okay. I do know what you’re talking about.

Please don’t,” I earnestly said.

I hated the silence that he managed to generate in times like these. It meant that he was still thinking about it. At the very least, it was only an idea and not the act.

I waited.

“Ha,” I nervously laughed. “You’re kidding, right? I mean, finals are nearly over for you. I still have one on Friday. Arses.”

He stared off into the dark nothingness for a while before turning to make eye contact with me. “I don’t like to joke about serious things. Things that require a lot of consideration.”

“You said weather permitting?”

“I did.”

“Okay.”

We sat there for a very long time before either of us spoke again.

“I think I might die young,” he said. ”Possibly tomorrow, weather permitting.”

“The fuck?”